And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” Matthew 27:46
The preceding poem is an expression of pain I’ve lived with for over 30 years. I’m not a poet but about a week ago I needed to express my sorrow and that’s what came out of me. Today the Lord gave me His remedy.
My father has regularly expressed his disappointment in me. He’s frustrated I don’t do whatever he thinks is best, to his standards. Now that I’m an adult, my parents express their disapproval by keeping their physical distance from me and my family; simply maintaining contact by phone. Unknowingly, their constant rejection took a toll on me. I anticipated rejection at every turn and anger lurked under the surface. Over the years I subconsciously saw myself as a reject needing to prove I wasn’t.
Many years ago when I first came across Psalm 27:10, KJV (“When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up”), I found some comfort in relating to David but that didn’t heal the hurt. Recently I’ve been meditating on that verse again, asking the Holy Spirit for insight.
Yesterday morning during the Destined to Reign broadcast, Joseph Prince shared that “like the children of Israel then, believers today ask God to remove the source of our problem when instead God’s solution is to give us a revelation of the cross of Christ” that deals with the source and its effects. So…I asked the Lord to show me how He dealt with my rejection on the cross.
During today’s broadcast He answered me. Something Joseph Prince said reminded me of some of Jesus’ famous last words on the cross: “My God,My God, why have You forsaken Me?” You see, on the cross He identified with my abandonment. He was abandoned because He bore our sin, but it was abandonment none the less. At that moment my enemy, the spirit of rejection, was judged on the cross so it wouldn’t have power over me any longer! When the Father forsook Jesus, He accepted or received me (the meaning of the Hebrew word for “took me up”). Thanks to Jesus I have a Father who thoroughly accepts me and was willing to temporarily turn His back on His perfect Son to do it!
As the Father’s beloved, accepted and highly favored daughter I don’t have to dread rejection around every corner. I may still experience my parents’ rejection for the path my life has taken but I’m not a reject. I love my parents and appreciate the sincerity of their opinion but I’m on the course my Father set for me and He promises He is my “exceedingly great reward”!
SOUL FOOD (Scripture References)
© Vanessa A. Harris and The Legacy of Faith, 2012.