Martha opened the door, asked Jesus to make himself at home, then dove headfirst into dinner preparations.

Martha welcomed Jesus into her home, but her sister, Mary, welcomed Him into her heart.

She sat and listened to Him. And while we don’t know what He said to her, we know out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. So, Jesus spoke from his heart and hearing someone’s heart is a necessary part of connection.


Another necessity is your vulnerability. Mary sat at Jesus’ feet, a physical representation of the honor she gave Him as a teacher that also showed she needed to receive from Him. Connection involves admitting you need the other person in the relationship. A scary thing to admit because people leave by death or decision, leaving you with your need.

But there is one who will never leave you or dismiss you, so your need will never go unmet.

Martha’s serving distracted her from connection until serving without connection led to frustration, first, then overwhelm.

Have you ever been in a situation where you’re thinking, I’m doing all this for you but it’s not getting me any closer to you, umm there’s a disconnect here!

food for thought…


Something about Martha found closeness to Jesus—awkward.

It may not have always been that way. He was an amazing man doing the miraculous, and his teachings were mind blowing. The Son of God who loved to serve, what’s not to like? She has a servant’s heart, too. But somewhere along the way, she learned connection is messy.

Maybe she swung and missed, or found it to be a weird fit, or disconnected because it was too difficult to make it work. Serving people is easier. Still sociable, she controlled access to the best part of her.

There’s a distance in “the doing” that keeps your heart “safe,” but frustrated.

Frustrated because you need heart to heart connections—(1) to know and be known at the heart level, (2) to be still enough to drop your mask and be seen with all your strengths and weaknesses and (3) offer the acceptance you desire in return.

And I get why it’s tempting to keep a mask over your heart and stay socially distant. People are a trip!


But, I can tell you from experience, that mask gets terribly heavy and particularly cumbersome when you’re also juggling the fear your vulnerability may be misused or rejected. But your need is your need and there’s a blessing on the other side of calculated risk.

There are levels to vulnerability, and you’re not called to bare your soul to any and everyone. But there are people God calls to your life because they need what’s in you, not what you can do for them. And you need what’s in them.

As for Jesus, well, he’s in a category by himself because while he doesn’t need you, he wants you. And he wants you to bring all your neediness with you. He’s the only one who can handle it.


Martha didn’t understand being seen, known and loved and returning that gift in kind is the only way to serve effectively and effortlessly. And that goes for you, whether it’s in your relationship with your children, your spouse or God, himself.

There’s no getting around it. Genuine connection, especially with those you have a heart to serve, begins and is maintained by regular face time.

So, whatever drives you to use busyness to stay disconnected is worth looking into.

I’m rooting for you!


Vanessa’s November Tee That Testifies: Give Me Grace

We all know being a mom is not easy!

You want to get it right and you do your best, but sometimes you fall short. You’re human just like the rest of us.

You need what we all need–grace. And there’s no harm in asking for it.

Journals for Your Journey



Join me for Motherhood Unmasked

It’s the podcast for real talk about the challenges you face in motherhood, along with some compassion, candor, and clarity to help you own your impact. Moms don’t let other moms do it alone! So, come on in—TUESDAYS.


Cozy up with a cocoa, fuzzy socks and a book that transforms…

Especially when the book affirms who you are, why you are, and that you don’t have to prove any of it to anyone. That’s music to your ears in a world full of opinions! Get your FREE audiobook copy of DADDY’s Girl Forever along with a FREE 30 day trial of Audible by clicking GET THE AUDIOBOOK button.

If you’re a paperback or a kindle kind of girl, find the book HERE on Amazon.


  1. Mmm…this is so good & definitely gave me a pause. I had to pause and reflect for a minute because my love language is serving others (I’m guessing it may have been Martha’s too). But sometimes I get so busy DO-ing stuff for my family that I forget to stop, sit down, look them in the eye and listen to their stories. I sometimes struggle with connecting emotionally & so much of it does stem from past hurts in my own childhood. Thanks for this fresh look at Martha and Mary & challenging us to think about how we connect (or don’t) with those we love.

    Liked by 1 person

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