Episode 19

Mom Myths Unmasked Series Part I: Good Moms are Great Cooks

We’re shaking things up as we wind down season 2 here on the Motherhood Unmasked podcast with a 3 part series challenging “good mom” myths.

Because who has time to live hostage to opinion? First up, we’re addressing the notion “good mom” equals great cook.

Anyone else feeling hungry all of a sudden?

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Episode 19 Transcript

There are some myths about moms going around causing you unnecessary grief. And today we’re going to address one of them.

Hello and welcome to episode 19 of Motherhood Unmasked. Whether it’s you’re first time visiting or you’re a regular, I’m so glad you’re here.

Well, this is the 9th episode of season 2 and my goal for this season is 12 episodes.

And so in the next few episodes i thought it would de fun to mix it up a bit with a 3 part series I’ll start today on good mom myths.

And by that I mean the ideals people attribute to “” good moms, ideals that unfortunately we moms use to shame each other and even ourselves.

These ideals aren’t explicitly stated, unless by your mother in law, but ive seen them implied in the culture through all types of media and even social circles.

So in this series I hope to tackle 3 of these myths.

Whether the myths are lighthearted or strike a nerve, the fact is these how we do what we do as moms is a matter of style influenced by your experience, your priorities and your gifts or skill level and since you are as unique as each of your children, you shouldn’t be held captive to arbitrary standards.

Ive said it before and I say it again, you can only do what’s best for your children based on how you’re wired, not another mom.

Son let’s have some fun and get into today myth which is [DRUMROLL]: a good mom is a great cook.

And great cook as in creates her own recipes, cooks by feel, and may even be found fixing hot breakfast on school mornings.

You know they’re like my mom or my mother in law who makes wonderful meals but can’t tell you how much of what they put in the thing.

And if that’s you, God bless your ministry!

If the kitchen is your happy place, I think that’s awesome.

But I need a recipe because I don’t think up tasty creations.

And when it comes to school day breakfast, If my kids have a “hot meal”it’s because they got a hold of toaster strudels or eggo waffles.

Now I’ll be happy to make some porridge because that was a favorite of mine growing up, but my kids prefer more instant items and that’s fine with me.

But collecting recipes is where it’s at for me.

I have a binder full that we rotate through and enjoy.

Because while your super power may be envisioning a meal and knowing which ingredients will bring it to life, mine is reading a recipe and knowing immediately if it will taste good or not.

And no, I don’t cook every day. When I cook

When my daughter was younger and she enjoyed her dinner, she would say the cutest thing.

She’d say Mom you’re a good cooker.

And I’d say a good cook thank you but Mommy really just a good reader because I read the recipes and follow the directions

Whether you cook by feel or cook from recipes who cares?

because guess what, the kids are fed and that’s the win.

What I find more important to my kids is whether I served the meals with love.

More than what they eat, it’s the attitude with which I prepared it.

The book of proverbs talks a lot about eating.

And even speaks about preferring to have a piece of bread in peace over an elaborate meal with a lot of drama.

So I’m more concerned with the environment around my table than what’s on it.

That’s said there’s nothing like a home cooked meal from someone anointed to cook.

I have some girlfriends who pride themselves on their kitchen skills—and I’m happy to go by their house and enjoy the benefits of those skills when I can.

And then there’s my mom and my mother in law who know how to throw

down with no notes.

The whole family looks forward to enjoying their cooking.

But you know what?

I’m sure your family loves your cooking too: whether from the recipes you’ve collected from the internet or cookbooks and maybe even tweaked over the years, or a frozen pizza you cooked and added a salad to.

Your family loves what you prepare because of the love you put in the dish.

But Maybe your mom is an excellent cook and you grew up attached to her hip learning all her recipes.

Now you cook them for your children as an expression of the love you felt from her.

You’re inherited the culinary gene.

You know what flavors go together, and you never measure, yet your food always turns out amazing.

But if you’re like me and you cook mainly because you like to eat and not only do you want to know what’s in your food, you don’t want to waste money on takeout every day—well that works too.

Whatever your skill level in the kitchen, rather than compare it to other moms, you’d do better to focus on WHAT you feed your family and the heart you put in it, rather than HOW the meal comes together.

Recently I took a last minute trip out of town with my Mom to see one of my sisters.

I left meal options for my husband, one of them being spaghetti and meatballs.

When I came back home and the kids gave me the rundown, one of my sons mentioned dad did alright on the spaghetti—but it’s not like yours.

I laughed because there’s nothing special about how I make my spaghetti and meatballs.

I don’t make it with fresh pasta.

The sauce isn’t even from scratch.

I’m really not sure what my husband did different (though he is known for tossing in strange ingredients).

The only thing I can think makes mine special is that while he’ll throw the meal together, I’ll prepare it with love.

And the love makes all the difference.

And hey, no shame if you’re using those meal services that deliver all the ingredients and the recipe to make meals that taste great in a flash

That’s love too AND a home cooked meal with fresh ingredients!

Plus you saved time avoiding the grocery store and they make meal planning a breeze.

And if you can afford paying for that convenience then have at it.

I’m all for making life easier on yourself any way you can.

And sometimes that means hitting the drive thru in a pinch—because life happens.

And while I do it here and there, I wouldn’t be a good pediatrician if I didn’t warn against making fast food a habit.

A diet full of processed or high fat foods is a recipe for disaster.

So I encourage you to prepare meals that reflect the rainbow and represent all the food groups.

And in the current economic downturn, I’ll admit that’s tougher these days to find quality food you can afford on top of the Food deserts existing in urban areas in this country.

If that’s your situation, my heart goes out to you. Not being able to provide the quality food you want for your family is heartbreaking.

But if you’re able to get to an Aldi store, I HIGHLY recommend you shop there.

It’s a discount grocery store selling only the most popular grocery items under their private label brands.

The fresh produce is high quality and affordable.

And you can even find organic and gluten free items there.

And no, they’re not sponsoring this show, but I mention them because (1) I’ve shopped there for certain items and (2) I know there’s no substitute for quality food served at home and Aldi is a way to make it happen at a lower cost.

But the main purpose of this episode is to leave you with this: you don’t have to be a great cook to be a good mom.

A good mom does her best to put good food on the table—period.

So , you have nothing to feel guilty about.

And don’t let those social media posts or comments from friends about how they throw down in the kitchen breakfast, lunch and dinner make you feel less than.

Just aim to serve a healthy meal however you can and serve it with love.

I hope you enjoyed this first installment in the mom myths series.

As I said earlier, this will be a 3 part series, but I’m still deciding what myth to tackle next and I’d LOVE your help.

Send me your mom myth pet peeve either by email or voice message. You’ll find the links for both at vinelifefaith.com/podcast.

If you’d like a heads up on the topic I choose along with the motivational voice message for moms I send on Mondays, you can sign up for it at—you guessed it—vinelifefaith.com/podcast.

I’ll see you back here next week for mom myth #2.

And remember, when it comes to you being the mother of your children—YOU are the woman for the job. Take care.