Episode 47

The Motherhood Unmasked podcast with Vanessa A. Harris Episode 47 Your Best Is Enough

Your Best Is Enough

Mama, you’re doing the best you can. The real, rational you knows that. But there’s another version of you that won’t get off your back.

In today’s episode, I talk about what to say to that nag of yours, so you can live out the reality that your best is enough.

Listen to Episode 47

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Homework: Change the Narrative

Sign up to my email list for quick access to my 7 Daily Affirmations for Moms and more in the FREE Family Function Kit. Because your inner critic has a lot to say, and you need a ready answer.

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Need a good journal?

Journal from the Heart is a great every day journal with an encouraging verse or affirmation at the bottom of every page. If you’re working through any kind of loss, the journal, My Journey Through Grief and Loss, helps you acknowledge the significance of your loss while honoring the memories you’ll always cherish. And if you meet with a counselor or a coach, you need a journal to keep track of breakthroughs and aha moments in between sessions. A copy of the My Reflections Journal for guided post-session review would be perfect for you.


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Episode 47 transcript

Hey there Mama Bare. Vanessa here with compassion, candor and clarity for you, the mom doing your best to run your motherhood race well despite the nagging voice accusing you otherwise.

I’m so glad you’re here.

Listen, if you think this pediatrician and mother of three hosts this podcast because she has it altogether, you’re mistaken.

Many mornings I wake up to an instant replay of the previous days mom fails.

And in those moments I have a choice to make, one that impacts everything from my mood to my mindset to my motherhood, even my life mission.

What choice? Let’s talk about it in episode 47 of Motherhood Unmasked.

Before we get into today’s topic, I have a quick question for you. Did you know your womanhood has everything to do with your childhood?

Think about it. What you did or didn’t get growing up informs how you show up and move through life today.

Women, like me, who struggled with insecurity and tried to compensate with perfectionism, found the truths in my book DADDY’s Girl Forever liberating.

And the audiobook is now available on Audible. For a free copy of DADDY’s Girl Forever and a free 30 day trial to enjoy other books on Audible head to bit.ly/dgfaudio. That’s bit.ly/dgfaudio.

Prefer paperback copies of all the books I offer? Then head to vinelifefaith.com/books.

It’s no secret I don’t have the best relationship with my mom. But we have what we have now, because I’ve forgiven her. She just didn’t have what I needed. And God used that void as the womb to birth my perspective on motherhood and my passion to help other moms, like you, develop yours.

That said, the road isn’t easy for me. Like you, guilt and comparison are the ball and chain around my ankle threatening to trip me up every day. Some days I fall flat on my face. But since I have family cycles to slay and a legacy to leave, I’ve learned to be intentional about how I respond to my inner critic.

And I think that’s the first point I’d like to make. You hear moms complain about being judged by other moms, but it may surprise you to know your worst judge is you. The ideal you sits as judge of the actual you so that when you fall short of her standards, you feel guilty because you don’t measure up. And the posts on Facebook and Instagram only exacerbate what you already think of yourself.

But the ideal you is imaginary, so she has no say in real life matters.

So, there are some truths you have to rehearse to combat the thoughts that don’t serve you well.

#1 Motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint. There’s going to be moments you have great form, moving with the ease of a gazelle. And moments you feel like you’re going to fall out. Just keep moving. Your race doesn’t need to be pretty, just focus on the finish.

#2 Every day is a new leg of the race. If you fell yesterday, shake it off and look ahead. Beating yourself up for yesterday’s mistakes only leaves you too bruised to run well today.

#3 You are the only runner in your motherhood marathon. You’re not in competition with anyone else. Not the “ideal” you, not your mom (whether she’s great or leaves a lot to be desired), not your mom-friends and not the moms you stalk on social. It’s just you, which is awesome because comparison only slows you down.

#4 Your finish line is personal. Ok, so you never stop being a mom, but in terms of mothering children teenaged and under, how you come to the end of that phase is up to you. So, put thought and prayer into what you want to pour into your kids and receive the grace to do your best. If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.

#5 You will trip over your words. Stumble in frustration. And lose your balance as the terrain and seasons change. Get up. Apologize. And forgive yourself.

Welcome your failures as teachers and your challenges as tutors. Neither of them disqualify you from being the right mother for your child.

Your best is enough. Period.

This week’s homework is to sign up for my email list to get your free copy of my 7 Daily Affirmations for Moms as part of my family function pack.

The whole pack is free, but I particularly want you to get your hands on those 7 Daily Affirmations this week, because self-defeating thoughts will come, so be ready when they do.

The 7 Affirmations are in addition to the 5 I shared in this episode, so that’s 12 of them to encourage yourself with when you feel like the worst mother ever.

You get immediate access to the affirmations when you sign up for my email list at vinelifefaith.com/podcast. That’s vinelifefaith.com/podcast.

And make no mistake, you need to download these truths because the only way to replace a thought is with another thought.

Comparison and the monster it births, called guilt, shout scary thoughts that bully any mama not equipped with an answer.

So tell your subconscious who’s boss by focusing on what is true and right.

What I just said bears repeating, so let me come at it another way. It’s not enough to just think true thoughts, you need to say them.

So rather than silently read these affirmations, say them out loud. Studies show the more of your senses engaged in learning, the better your retention.

And since you’re rewiring your self-perception as a mom, you need all the help you can get.

A great place to keep your list of affirmations is in your journal which, if you’re like me, is where you dump your mom woes, anyway.

Use your list of affirmations as a bookmark so when you’re done writing your fears and doubts, you can encourage yourself with truth!

And hey, if you want to write the affirmations too, feel free to do so. Just activating another sense to help you change the narrative even faster.

If this episode served you well, share it with a friend. Every mama needs to hear her best is enough.

Remember vinelifefaith.com/book is where you go to find my books to feed your soul. And vinelifefaith.com/podcast is where you sign up for my twice monthly emails and instant access to the 7 Daily Mom Affirmations—my gift to you.

And before you go, please remember, when it comes to you being the mother of your children, you are the woman for the job. Take care.

Motherhood Unmasked is sponsored by Vine Life Faith, where we’re breaking negative cycles and building healthy community through connection with Christ. vinelifefaith.com.

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