The “Why” Behind The “What”

And it shall come to pass, when the Lord has done for my lord according to all the good that He has spoken concerning you… 1 Samuel 25:30


The kids and I were reading about David, Nabal and Abigail one morning and God used it to correct wrong thinking that lead me to a wrong attitude.  David was running from King Saul though he faithfully served King Saul so many years.  He and the men with him were weary and hungry.  They came across Nabal’s shepherds in the fields and instead of plundering them, provided protection until shearing time.  Subsequently, David asked that Nabal give David’s men whatever provisions he could spare.  Seems reasonable doesn’t it; a small act of appreciation for what David and his men did for Nabal?  Nabal didn’t see it that way.  He disrespectfully refused; David saw red and was on his way to kill every man associated with Nabal!

Enter Abigail, Nabal’s wife, described as intelligent and beautiful got wind of the situation.  She brought David what he asked for but more importantly brought him words of wisdom.  God used her to remind him that though Nabal’s lack of appreciation and disrespect offended him it’s the Lord who will do everything He promised David…not people.  David had a legitimate need that he tried to meet the wrong way.  In 1 Samuel 25 we see that he helped Nabal because he was planning to ask Nabal for help in return.  He tried to work for, earn or deserve something that the Lord would happily do for him.  Would the Lord do it because David was perfect?  Of course not but God chose him as Saul’s successor, as a young shepherd boy.  With that kind of promise don’t you think he would give him a lesser thing like basic provisions!

We read this story a few days after I experienced major frustration.  I have given up a lot to do what God called me to do…first putting aside my career in medicine to stay home and raise my young children and now homeschooling.  It seemed like it was all for naught.  Their behavior was worsening as part of a push back against homeschool.  They were completely ungrateful and I resented the sacrifice.  I seriously considered scrapping the whole thing and putting them in public school!  Shouldn’t they be glad their mother hears from God and wholeheartedly does what He says is best for them even if it’s not her first choice?  Yes, and when they’re older they may see the benefit in their lives and thank me, but the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’ need only be because God put it on my heart.  He is my exceeding great reward.  My sacrifice benefits my children but if I do it looking for their appreciation I will get my feelings hurt every time.  God remembers the promises He has spoken to me and He will bring them to pass.  Not because I’m such a wonderful mother or teacher but because He sees no wrong in me.  Jesus’ blood perfectly cleansed me and keeps me clean and God will not refuse me any good thing.

When I feel drained, unappreciated, and undervalued the answer is not to do more so they can see how hard I work to be the best mother or teacher.  That’s the time to back off the gas and spend time with my Daddy God.  Let Him remind me that He sees my desire to do well and rest in the supply and success Jesus gave me at the cross.  Then I’m reminded how much I’ll cherish this quality time He’s given me with them now when their older.  I can also step back and see the remarkable work He is doing in them!  We have wonderful children and they’re such a blessing to Mark and me!


NOTE: This post was composed on Friday morning before I heard the news of the horrific school massacre.  I couldn’t bear to post this till today.  Our children are so precious…


SOUL FOOD (Scripture References)


Genesis 15:1

Romans 8:1, 2 Corinthians 5:19, 21, 1 John 1:9, Romans 8:32

Romans 8:15

Philippians 4:13



© Vanessa A. Harris and The Legacy of Faith, 2012.